Well, it's really tiring when you find out that there're a lot of ppl who can't give enough respect even though you already tried to do the best to show that you care about them.
I can't believe they made it hard for me to try to be a nice person.

Someone in my f-list, who added me first, deleted me from her f-list. As I remember, I always tried to care about her life by commenting and such; but perhaps I'm not good enough to be her online friend? She barely gave comments to my entries, so she's too important to care abt someone like me? *sigh* I dunno... sorry if I sound too emo, but I've met not only 1 person like this. There're some ppl who added me but then never bother to give comments and care about my life. I understand if they're busy, but they write a lot of entries and reply if I give them comments. ^^;
After I got kicked out like this, I didn't restrain myself anymore from deleting ppl who added me just to ignore me. I ignore ppl if they ignore me first. Sorry for being a jerk; I learned from the other jerks who happened to be some ex-LJ friends of mine. :P

Well y'know what... I'll be ok with all of these. I am now complaining, but I'm still aware that I'm not a perfect friend. So sorry if some of my true friends here feel that way. And if ppl don't want to talk to me anymore, I'll just let them delete me, then I'll delete them back. They've made it easy anyway. Although--they should know that there's no point adding me into their f-list just to delete me few months after that. They should've done something smarter than that.

Sorry if this entry sounds not nice... sorry, I'm just tired.

I don't like this day. I'm like losing my spirit. (;__;)

Also, the wedding is sooooooo close now and I haven't dyed my hair yet, I'm getting more anxious. I hope everything will be OK.

(Minna, mohon doa restu~ dan maaphkanlah kesalahan2 saya... jgn sampe dosa2 saya menghambat turunnya karunia Tuhan buat kakak & keluarga saya~)

I still keep some files in my HD so I'll watch "Sentimental TV" and "Macchiato TV" again (these vids always make me laugh)... right after "Raging Blood PV" (this one is hot).
Oh! And also D'espairsRay comment on March '08, of course--it's a bit short but I love it. Watching Zero there will help me survive for sure. 8]


...excited for Brilliant and Mugenkyou (still have to wait for couple weeks though)~

Karena aku ngga cukup berani untuk nangis-nangis sambil mabok ditemani sebotol minuman keras.

Meskipun cuma dengan 4 butir bakso berkuah dingin dan potongan daun bawang, tetep bisa nangis dengan lega kok.

Hard days passed yet still coming...

My body sometimes doesn't cooperate well. (=_=)

I got my waist hurting again since 3 days ago and I don't know why. It's been like that for a couple times. I once got scared because I thought it could be my kidney or what...
So one morning, right after I got up, I drank like 3 glasses of water at once and at campus I went to the toilet like 4 times in a pretty short period of time. I felt like an idiot. xD
Now my waist is getting better though. *thank God*

Since 2 days ago, suddenly my feet itch. There're some pink bruises on them, like mosquito bite. But I don't think they're mosquito bites. =\
Last night I covered my feet with medicated skin powder... (=.=)
It's really annoying, I want to scratch my feet but I better don't. Scratching is not recommended. ^^;

...I'm not in my best shape. I haven't been in my best shape for a quite some time, actually... (=∇=)
And I feel like getting more stupid. LOL. I'm less focused, I forget things, I'm like 'losing some words' so it's kinda difficult to express my feelings recently. Somehow I don't enjoy talking to some people I usually enjoy to talk to. =\

I guess I just need to take some peace time...

A lot like an ungrateful person, I feel lonely and completely trashed today.

Yah, tapi... ada hikmahnya juga.

At least now I know how to behave towards this feeling.
Cakrawala terbuka dan akhirnya aku tahu bahwa tidak seharusnya aku berharap.
Jadi meskipun sedih, terima kasih atas jawabannya yang tanpa kata-kata.

Btw...
Yang selama ini kita sebut 'teman', mungkin sebetulnya bukan seutuhnya 'teman' juga. That's why sometimes we feel terribly lonely while in fact we have so many friends.

Tapi, seperti kata Buddha Siddharta... "semua orang di dunia ini menderita."

So, aku hanya bisa menghibur diri dengan minum jus mangga, tidur sambil meluk boneka ikanku, dan mengagumi sepatu Converse-ku yang baru.



P.S. Akhirnya dapet pinjeman external hardisk. Prepare to edit... ^_^
++ Listen to "Ruri No Ame" preview song at Alice Nine. OHP:
http://www.pscompany.co.jp/alicenine
It's really nice. Tsubasa sounds great as well! =)

..and I still have to go to PPPI office later on. =__=
Besok juga sebenernya masih harus masuk kerja utk general checking, tapi ADUH BESOK KRS gitu lhoh!! Masak harus ngorbanin momen penting itu--klo aku ga bisa kuliah setaun gimana?? ;___;
Makanya besok aku mau izin dulu deh, mumpung cuma general checking.

Anyway, I found something unpleasant abt my LJ.
Kalo buka friends page, trus ke 40 halaman sebelumnya, layout-nya jadi rusakk... (>_<) Tapi cuma di page itu doang... weird... and I can't fix it because I don't really understand the codes. Nevermind deh. =x

( minggu pagiiii... )

Quick entry sebelum siap2 kerja lagi.

Udah 2 hari ini aku pulang jam 23.30 terus. Kerjaan compiling data entry Festival Iklan Pinasthika 2007 masih belum selesai; ditambah abis itu masih harus rapat panitia sampe malem... aku udah 2 hari nggak ketemu Papa! Tapi pagi ini sempet ketemu bentar sebelum Papa berangkat kerja.

Dua hari yang lalu aku sempet 'mendapat sesuatu' yg bikin aku ngerasa nggak berguna lagi. Dan malem itu aku pulang jam 23.30; jalanan udah sepi banget, apalagi waktu aku nyampe di depan rumah... pasti orang2 udah pada tidur. Jadi ngerasa lonely banget. Udah hati lagi sedih, dunia serasa sepi nan gelap gitu.

Tapi waktu aku masukin motor ke garasi, tiba2 Mama bukain pintu utk nyambut aku. Aku seneng banget. Seneng akhirnya ketemu Mama, seneng Mama masih rela nyambut aku pulang meski itu hampir dini hari. Jadi nggak ngerasa sendirian lagi. Thank you Mom. =)

P.S. Kangen kuliah. Kangen sama kalian. See you soon, I hope! ^^

Oops. Two entries in one night. Sorry, tonight is perhaps my only chance~ ^o^
I just finished my entries for Pinasthika Advertising Festival 2007.
*panitia rajin... ikut ngirim karya* =P
And start from tomorrow, I'll be a bit busy; compiling hundred entries at PPPI office.

I was thinking about changing my LJ layout as well.
Demo... I really like my current ♥mint akiya♥ layout, and I haven't got any idea what kind of graphic layout I want to make. So I'll just think about this slowly.

( ...and this one is gonna be a long story. Read? )

Kayaknya aku udah bosan. =(

I want to feel that sparks again.
Even though it sometimes tears my heart up.

I wanna runaway.
With smile.

I WANT TO HEAR GOD'S VOICE THROUGH YOU AGAIN!